Cat for a day, or the dyslexic, agnostic, canine insomniac

Kasim – a small-to-medium sized black dog with brown splodges and white spots - had always wondered what life must be like for those strange creatures living next door to the bedroom he shared with his pals Nikita and Kela. Whenever possible he’d sneak through when a Crazy Human opened the door, and he’d show those cats who they were dealing with by stealing their food – at least until the Crazy Human yelled at him to get out.

Kasim would spend his leisure hours strolling up and down in front of the Cat House, checking the smells, taking note, observing. Then he’d lunge, straight at the wire behind which Curiosity had brought a few cats dangerously close. Oh how they scattered – at least, those who didn’t stand in defiance, backs arched, fur on end, tails fluffed, a horrible hissing, spitting noise coming through the bared teeth. Ugh!

But Kasim was fascinated. The intoxicating smell of cat excrement; that slinky manner that made his teeth ache; that scaredy expression and that funny way of running that just drove him nuts with the desire to chase!

The Crazy Humans would yell at him and drive him off, but when the Crazy Humans weren’t around he would lie and watch the cats for hours on end, his mind racing, his imagination on fire. How to get at them? It was one thing to observe them from outside their cage, but Kasim wanted more. He wanted to be the Cat among the Pigeons, as it were. He wanted to break the walls and set them free so he could have them on his territory, and play and play to his heart’s content.

Kasim would lie awake at night, wondering if there was a dog, if there was a way. One night, when the Old Moon tarried beneath the horizon and the cold stars glittered like the eyes of cats in the deep velvet sky, Kasim slept, nose on paws, and Kasim dreamed. And in his dream the door between his bedroom and the Cage of the Cats swung slowly open. Kasim looked: not a Crazy Human in sight. All was quiet but the breathing of the cats. He arose, and trembling slightly, passed through the open doorway.

Right away he noticed a difference: the smells smelled right, homely, colourful and constructed into a meaning, into the shape and contours of a community, a world, a world of difference that fit his body perfectly. Kasim peered into the shadows, searching for a movement, and saw none, though he could still hear the breathing, maybe some contented stretching over there, perhaps a sort of slight purring noise over here. He approached and felt warmth, softness, a welcoming comfort. Kasim lay down and closed his eyes.

When he opened them it was daylight. For a second Kasim lay and stretched. Then he remembered. He shot bolt upright and looked. He was surrounded by cats! And they were looking straight at him with that unblinking, basilisk stare. What to do what to do? “Run!” his defenses screamed, but as he turned he caught a flash, a glimpse from the corner of his eye. He turned back, more slowly. My, what a lovely bushy, furry, slinky tail Kasim now had, an endearing white blaze at the very tip!

Most of Kasim’s fellows, after a bit of a sniff and maybe a touching of the noses ignored him. One big black devil, though, came and gave him a good smelling from head to toe. Not a comfortable experience. Kasim tried to smell back, but all he got was a vicious hiss and a strong right cross to the middle of his head. He slunk away and avoided the big black devil from then on. There was food in bowls. Kasim tasted it. It was boring. Then there were these bigger bowls, full of sand – and … cat poo! Kasim had not the slightest desire to eat any.

As night fell Kasim began to feel deliciously sleepy. He was warm and furry and comfortable, contented, lazy and ready to lie down, to stretch, maybe roll a bit, snooze for a while before a lovely relaxing wash, and – sleep.

When he awoke Kela and Nikita were bouncing and barking against the door. “Get up! Get barking! Get out! Chase cats!” they yammered, but all Kasim wanted to do was to lie a bit longer in his bed, wondering what had happened, and if there was a dog.

To this day Kasim has steered clear of the Cat House. Oh, he looks at them from a distance, but he knows who they are now, and he wants no part of it – not even the ‘end product’ as it were. No more lunging at the wire for him. He leaves that to new recruit Pete, who lunges with enthusiasm, poor sucker. He’ll learn the truth soon enough, the night he lies awake, wondering if there’s a dog.